Funeral Do’s and Don’ts

Funerals are a tricky business for everyone involved, especially if you’ve never been to a funeral or experienced a loss before. Many people deal with loss differently and expressing your feelings about death may be something you’ve never had to deal with before. Similarly, you may not know the right things to say or do when attending a funeral. 

Though the guidelines for etiquette at a funeral are different in every culture and country, there are some general rules you should follow when attending a funeral in the U.S. Before you do anything you may regret, here are some of the biggest etiquette rules to follow when attending a funeral: 

1. Do: Dress modestly. When attending a funeral, try to dress as conservatively as possible. A funeral isn’t the place to make a fashion statement, and you shouldn’t be trying to attract any attention to yourself. The dress code for funerals is typically business casual, so dress nicely and respectably, without going over the top. No sweats or flip flops, and make sure your clothes are ironed, cleaned, and tucked properly. You don’t necessarily have to wear all black, but dark colors are generally standard. However, if the family of the deceased requests you wear something else, or the culture of the deceased dictates something else, you should always follow those rules. 

2. Don’t: Sit anywhere you like. The first few rows of a funeral are typically reserved for the family of the deceased, or close friends. If you don’t fall into that category, you should sit somewhere else. No one will accuse you of being disrespectful for sitting in the mid to the back of the funeral service. 

3. Do: Sign the guestbook. If the funeral you are attending has a guest book, you should absolutely sign it and include your relationship with the deceased. Do not, however, write a message of consolation or sympathy in the guestbook. It’s just not the right time or place.  

4. Don’t: Leave your cell phone on. Hopefully, this goes without saying, but a funeral is no place to have your cell phone out or ringing. Out of respect to the deceased, the family, and those speaking during the funeral, just turn it off. Some families may allow photography, but air on the side of caution and put it away. If you would like to take photos with any of the family or friends you haven’t seen in a while, do so after the service is over, and away from anyone visibly mourning.

5. Do: Arrive on time. Though arriving “fashionably late” is fine for some celebrations and events, a funeral is definitely not one of those occasions. Try to arrive early or as on time as possible so you don’t interrupt any part of the service. If you do arrive late, try to sneak in as quietly as possible and sit in the back so as not to disturb anyone speaking or in the audience.

6. Don’t: Be surprised by religious aspects. Funerals are lead by religion, and may contain different religious aspects that you’re not expecting, or maybe uncomfortable with. While you don’t have to participate in anything, don’t be alarmed or be visibly rattled. Just stand and sit when appropriate, and listen and respect the different parts of the service. 

Funerals are difficult for everyone, but Trinity Memorial Gardens is here to make the process just a little bit easier. We’ll guide you through the planning process, creating a beautiful, healing experience that celebrates the life of your loved one. We provide funeral planning help, services, burials, cremations, and veteran services, so you don’t have to reach out to multiple places as you plan. Let us take care of you while you find peace. To learn more about our services, visit our website or give us a call at (727) 376-7824. 

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Sources: 

https://www.alexgowfunerals.com.au/news-events/dos-and-donts-at-a-funeral/ 

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/74126/9-dos-and-donts-funeral-etiquette 

https://www.burialplanning.com/blog/the-dos-and-donts-of-funeral-service-etiquette